Friday, February 21, 2014

Golden Cameos: Millennium #2

 What is it with this series having two titles? One on the cover and one inside? This one's "The Summoning" and "Under" but at least the ones on the cover make sense in the context of the story. Last issue ended with the Manhunter agents (still no idea how that works) revealing themselves to the heroes which is where this one starts off.


Title: "Under"

Lana Lang turns out to be Supermans' personal Manhunter which she (are there women Manhunters in their original forms?) tells him in the Daily Planet. While being a few feet away from the rest of the employees. Luckily for Clark it's too noisy for anyone else to hear her but nevertheless it makes for an awkward conversation. Since the inner workings of this double agent thing hasn't been explained it either means the real Lana was replaced or Clark dated a robot pretending to be a woman and he never noticed. While they chat he mentions Firestorm being subverted to the Manhunters' side...which wasn't shown in this mini series. Sure Ted noted that Firestorm seems different but nothing else came of that. Which means a major plot point wasn't revealed in series even though this takes place right where last issue ended. How does Clark or any news outlet know Firestorm joined up with the Manhunters?

Oh and the Leagues' ship was blown up. I recall hearing that the series was running along  the tie ins hence the week 1-8 bits. That said this doesn't make for a series that's stand alone. If I didn't know some of this stuff already I'd be lost and think I missed some pages or a whole issue.

Lana gives him the option to help turn public opinion against the heroes. It doesn't go well and she starts attacking him. For a moment it seems like Lana was sad to know he wouldn't be on her side and that would make them enemies. That drama alone would have made this idea of traitors more appealing. But it fades away before it came become interesting.

"Oddly enough, this is not a story--or a series--about superheroes--!"

It's about half thought out ideas and executive meddling.

Speaking of which the Guardian and Zamaron finally realize maybe they should have laid out their plans better. Perhaps it would have made sense to inform the heroes of Earth of their choice before they made it to better prepare everyone. Or figured out how to pick the right people to be the Chosen since Terra is dead and another (who hasn't shown up in this yet) is senile. They shrug off that train of thought to go back to their already failing plan by informing Betty Clawman that she's one of the Chosen. She's instantly ready to go yet the Guardian tells her to wait until they get the others. The Zamaron points out that it would be wiser to get the heroes to gather all the Chosen. Which makes sense since the Manhunters are trying to kill them but in typical Guardian fashion he decides to ignore the obvious. Why? Because he thinks the other Chosen won't be so open to their destiny. So instead of bringing along the woman that wanted to go they leave her out in the open where their enemies can easily murder her.

I'm beginning to see why this series premise was doomed from the start.

Herupa Hando Hu: And do not forget, Nadi, we men know alien psychology after perfecting our Green Lantern Corps!

There are sooo many things wrong about that statement I don't know where to begin.

Next they find Takeo Yakata who has the more believable reaction to their claims yet he doesn't seem surprised to see a little blue man and woman dressed in armor. To convince him to come they teleport him outside and this somehow gets him to agree to go?

The Lana plot apparently was told in the Superman books since it's not concluded here although Batman knows about it. He tells Gordon the whole thing wondering where the Manhunters get their information. Gordon brings up the term Harbinger and Batman wonders if she gave them intel. His musing on blackmail not working on most heroes is confirmed as Manhunter Gordon tosses Batman out the window.

The Zamaron comments on the lovely sight before them with the Guardian grunting vaguely giving her the impression that he's not listening. It's a bad sign when even the characters are bored. Harbinger announces herself surprised they can speak English. Doesn't she know all the important information on the universe? You'd think she'd know that or their own lingo. It turns out that she's been bored since the crisis and after finding out their mission wants to offer her services. Triple H Guardian tells her the whole thing is her fault for shooting off all the information she collected about the heroes making Harbinger cry and race off. The Guardian and Zamaron both smile happily as she rushes off. What jackasses. I don't care if this is part of their plan, she was willing to help and their as much to blame as she is.

They go back to business contacting more people and it's here I notice them repeating themselves. Not just the contacting scene with the Chosen but the same freaking panel! Nadi the Zamaron and Triple H the Guardian say the exact same thing in the same art each time they greet the Chosen!

Blue Beetle faces off against his blackmailer who knows he's really Ted Kord. After awhile he believes the other man isn't a Manhunter and leaves only to find a super villain waiting. I guess Overthrow is a Manhunter but it's not stated. More contacting and making more offensive stereotypes. A man wonders about the Manhunters as one passes him looking like a woman thinking how helpless humans are. Kinda pointless.

Tom wakes up to find Hal and other pool side GLs by his bedside. They exchange information, Nadi and HHH arrive to get updated. Then they inform Tom he's one of their Chosen. He tells them that he can't leave his family and they pretty much say their mission is more important.

What jackasses.

Overall: This was more confusing than last issue and less enjoyable too. Most of this is contacting the Chosen to tell them that they want them to give up their lives to do their bidding. What if they all said no? And while the breeding part of the Chosens' mission hasn't been mentioned (or maybe it has and I forgot) isn't Tom doing his part by staying with his family? He could have another kid just not join fights? BTW do the Manhunters know who the Chosen are yet? If so then they were stupid (well more so) to not make sure Tom died. If not then their leading them to these people by contacting them. Most of the Chosen are such stereotypes that it made reading this unpleasant. Not to mention some of them are jerks so what made them decide to pick them in the first place? Was this a random process of pulling names from a hat because there seems to be no rhyme or reason.


  1. Oh Millenium. So insanely magnificently horribly bad. IT makes no sense whatsoever, and yet...and yet there are some tiny moments that just thrill my black little heart.

  2. Granted I've read some recent comics that were terrible at keep continuity and making sense, but this? This is a mess that should be studied. The best moments couldn't possibly be intentionally funny. It's just mindboggling.

  3. I don't know...the part where Hal stumbles upon the Guardians and the Zamarons version of sex is HILARIOUS!